This is Dark Cloud on Wednesday, July 18, 2012.
Last week I missed getting the commentary up in time. It occurred because Satan, who fears me as his deadliest enemy, conspired out of nowhere with Hewlett Packard, which made my computer, to simply shut it down, but only after I'd typed in the commentary. Shut down, pretend to start, get to the welcome screen, and shut down again. This precluded me from being able to record it at home, as I always do.
So, I decided to record it at the KGNU studio - how quaint - but noted that my phone wasn't working because it, also, is a spawn of Satan. After adventures during which Job would have quit, and great heroism, I got to KGNU, found no open studio, and said Screw It and walked home, letting my looks go to hell in the process, shocking Boulder. After further endeavors which only your grandchildren will get to read after national security restrictions are lifted, I tried to fix the computer, failed, and drank myself into a stupor, firing flaming arrows and amusing obscenities wildly out the window, and collapsed. Wakening, the computer worked. No clue then, in the interim, or now. But, you know: Satan.
I find supporting evidence that Satan is about because in Tennessee, where he has gone to up his game through history, the nitwit faction of the GOP is trying to damn the state Governor, whose name is either Moloch or Haslam - hard to see through the smoke. Haslam, a Republican, has been designated Satan by the Tea Party via their county organizations because - and you may want to usher children under 26, women, and the clergy out of earshot - this beast of Satan has, among other horrors, employed Muslims, gays, and Democrats, apparently preparatory to mandating cannibalism in state schools.
Nine GOP county groups have passed resolutions, none identical, complaining about the appointment of Miss Samar Ali, a graduate of Vanderbilt and its Law School, as international director at Tennessee's Department of Economic and Community Development. You'll need a pencil to connect these dots, but the Heroic Tea Party says "...Governor Bill Haslam has elevated and/or afford [sic] preferential political status to Sharia adherents in Tennessee, thereby aiding and abetting the advancement of an ideology and doctrine which is wholly incompatible with the Constitution of the United States and the Tennessee Constitution.” That's the Williamson resolution, dated July 10, 2012.
Another resolution condemns the Governor for retaining state employees hired under a former Democratic Governor, some of whom - don't let the children back in, they might hear this - are gays working in the Department of Children’s Services. There, wielding all power, they are allowed “to make policy decisions.”
More dangerous to national security, the Governor has refused to sign legislation opposing Agenda 21, a non-binding UN plan concerning sustainable development. Can't have that.
What you can have is, well let's let Chairman Kyle Mallory explain. “You have a gay rights organization, and an immigration organization defending a Republican governor. How crazy is that? ...Personally, I want Gov. Haslam to be successful....And I want Gov. Haslam to fire some liberal Democrats and replace them with conservative Republicans. That’s what I would like to see.” Shocker.
Fellow bigoted moron Kevin Kookogey, chairman of the Williamson County Republicans, is more direct, so keep those dot connecting pencils at the ready: “To date, the Haslam Administration has displayed an unfortunate ignorance to the threat of Shariah... They seem willing to accept the claims and defense of the Muslim Brotherhood at face value, refusing to even consider that, perhaps, those bent on destroying Western Civilization might just be infiltrating our institutions. … It is not like this has never happened before. The Muslim Brotherhood is following the blueprint of the Communists, who infiltrated the highest levels of government and society in the 1950’s. Shariah, however, is an even greater threat, because it has cloaked itself under the auspices of a religion, thus confusing the uninformed.”
Got that right, knucklehead. And we all know what a success the communists were. The state that gave us the Scope's Trial ninety years back knows how Southern bigotry, while impressively demented, is often just a cover because favored people did not get political jobs available.
They also know that the lovely and brilliant Samar Ali grew up in Waverly, Tennessee, and while in high school was a member of 4-H. Everybody who's worked with her seems to love her, including conservatives. But she worked within the Obama administration, though.